Free food makes me giddy

Strolling through Ikea, window shopping for furniture I can't afford for a place that I don't yet have a mortgage for, I was impressed with the ideas the Swedes have for maximizing every last inch of space available. Since my in-limbo condo is pretty small, if I ever do manage to gain employment and erase my dole scum status I'll likely end up ordering an Ikea bedroom in its entirety. Walking through the the showrooms I saw beds that had hidden compartments, sliding doors, even little hooks to hang clothes on that retract into the wall when not in use, and started wondering how to improve on the experience. Just imagine: walking into a crisply minimalist room with linen sheets stretched tight across a harsh Malm bedframe. Sliding carefully under the cool covers so as to not create wrinkles on my starched sheets, then having the bed fold silently into the wall with me in it, leaving my bedroom gleamly empty. The silence is broken only by the gentle exhaust of a humidifier, and perhaps my muffled sigh of suffocation.

Much later I was struck with similar glee as I came across raspberry bushes, and stopped for a moment to realize how amazing free food is. We get so used to the idea that food costs money that we often forget that our species somehow managed to scrape by for a few million years before having a grocery store. The raspberries were still not large enough to pick, but in another month or so they should be ripe and I'm going to have a field day. Yes, some bastard kids wills probably get to the best ones first, and the location besides a public footpath means they're probably not the cleanest, but screw all that... I will pick free raspberries. They will likely make me sick. They will likely taste of dog piss. They will definitely taste of success.